


We don't talk anymore

by TheNyctophiliac



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Domestic Fluff, Everybody is done, Fluff, Gen, I have no idea how to organize tags, One Shot, Songfic, Swearing, Victor is so extra, Yurio has a potty mouth, first fic, rated t just to be safe, somebody send help, too many tags amirite, yurio is even more done than you
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-03
Updated: 2017-04-03
Packaged: 2018-10-14 14:58:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10538826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheNyctophiliac/pseuds/TheNyctophiliac
Summary: Yuuri is done with Victor's shit. Yurio is even more done. Everybody is done, and Victor is Rejected™.OrVictor is a lazy drama queen.YOI one-shot.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Italic is thoughts and the song (which I don't own).  
> Regular text is narration and speech.  
> Caps lock is people screaming.  
> I don't own Yuri on Ice or the song mentioned, just the story! :D TY

It was a normal day, right?  
Nope. Not in this household. Living with Victor ‘Extra’ Nikiforov is a pain in the neck.

“Victor, I TOLD YOU TO DO THE DISHES!”

“But Yuuuuuuuuuuuriiiiii-”

“Don’t ‘But Yuuri’ me, Victor! It’s your turn! Now, do the dishes before Yurio comes over.”

This would be no problem, he could totally handle this, right?

Wrong. That’s what he thought two days ago, when they worked out a chore schedule after Yuuri moved into Victor’s apartment. Victor Nikiforov, five-time consecutive champion of the Grand Prix Final, most decorated figure skater in men’s singles EVER, Living Legend, would keep up his end of the deal right?

Nope. He learned that during skating practice, Yakov went through a lot. Victor would always say things he didn’t intend to do. He had no idea how Yakov put up with all this for so long.

Apparently, this was not proving to be easy. Victor was the most extra person ever. It was like living with a five-year-old.Like, a manchild. Yeah, he was a manchild off the skating rink. So needy and annoying. He would deal with this in the most cruel way possible.

“Victor!” Yuuri shouted, “I’m taking Makkachin for a walk! If the dishes aren’t done by the time I get home, somebody’s sleeping on the couch tonight!”

Victor gasped. (What? Him? Dramatic? No, it couldn’t be.)  
“NOOOOOOO, Yuuri, don’t leave me!”

But alas, it was too late, for Yuuri had already grabbed Makkachin’s leash and called the poodle over.  
Makkachin barked happily and went over to Yuuri as fast as he could. As soon as the duo were out the door, it slammed shut.

_Traitor._

Not too long after, Victor was sulking and regretting his life decisions. Should he do the dishes? No, he could take care of it later, right now he needed time to mope. Grabbing his phone, he looked through his playlist until he found the song he was looking for.

_We don’t talk anymore, we don’t talk anymore, we don’t talk anymore like we used to._

With the love of his life gone, what was he supposed to do?  
Just then, Yuri slammed the door open. Victor looked at the door so quickly, he almost gave himself whiplash.

“YURIO!”

“GET THE FUCK OFF ME YOU OLD MAN! AND DON’T CALL ME YURIO! GO AND CRY IN THE CORNER!”

_We don’t laugh anymore, what was all of it for?_  
_We don’t talk anymore, like we used to._

Finally taking in his surroundings, Yuri noted that Victor was moping around and crying. He also noticed that Yuuri was gone.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Meanwhile, Yuuri was enjoying his walk.

“Hey Makka, do you think Victor is having a mental breakdown?”  
He got a VERY happy bark in reply.

“Glad to know you think so too.”

_He was VERY MUCH enjoying this._

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Hey you old geezer, where’s Katsudon?” Yuri asked.

“YURIO! YUURI LEFT ME BECAUSE I DIDN’T DO THE DISHES!” Victor replied, a snotty mess already. “HE SAID IF I DIDN’T DO THEM, I WOULD SLEEP ON THE COUCH!”

“SO DO THE DAMN DISHES ALREADY! SHUT UP AND STOP CRYING ALREADY AND SHUT OFF THE FUCKING MUSIC!”

“BUT THAT’S JUST IT, I DON’T KNOW HOW!” But he still didn’t turn it off.

And Yuri just looked at him in disbelief. _Is this guy for real? What a loser, twenty-eight and he still can’t do the dishes._

And he lost it.

“What the fuck do you mean, ‘I can’t do the dishes’? How the fuck have you lived for the last ten years?

Victor replied, still a mess, “Take out.”

Shit. He has a lot to learn for somebody thirteen years older than him.  
Yuri let out a sigh. “Fine, get up. I’ll teach you how to do the dishes.”

“THANK YOU YURIO!”

“SHUT UP! AND DON’T CALL ME YURIO!”  
Just then, Yuuri came back from his walk. He heard a long stream of Russian swears. And a very familiar, annoying song Victor only played when he was moping and being extra. Very extra.

“YUURI!”  
“HEY PORK CUTLET BOWL! GET THIS OLD MAN OFF ME! HE WAS MISSING YOUR ASS FOR LIKE FOREVER!”  
“Yurio, that’s not very nice.” Victor pouted.

“What.”  
That was all Yuuri could say. With that, Yuri kicked Victor off his leg, went to the guest room, and slammed the door.

“Victor.”

“Yes, my love?”

“What time is it?”

“Why do you ask? It’s five thirty, by the way.”

“To see how much time you need to spend staring while Yurio and I have katsudon.”

“SO CRUEL, YUURI!”

“SHUT THE FUCK UP, OLD MAN!” Yurio screamed, bursting from the guest room.

At this rate, they were all gonna die.

_We don’t talk anymore like we used to._

“Why is that still playing…?” asked Yuuri.

And that was the story of how Victor played the hellsong. And learned to do the fucking dishes.  
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Bonus:

Later that night, after a very whiny Victor and a very tired Yurio:

“Hey, Victor?”

“Yes, lyubov moya*?”

“Remember our deal?” Yuuri paused, letting it sink in. “You still haven’t done the dishes, you know.”

And Victor promptly screamed.

**Author's Note:**

> First fic! Thanks for reading! Please tell me if I need to change anything, tags included! This story was not beta read, so please notify me if I made a mistake!
> 
> *Lyubov moya means 'my love'.


End file.
